One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is the high leading the old right now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
