I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
