Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
