you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
