that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
