ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You ruined the universe
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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