ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't put those talents on a resume
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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