y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
