none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
