But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
