Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
