You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
