We need to rekindle our bromance
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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