Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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