I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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