if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
