Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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