I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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