Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
