yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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