And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
