hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
