Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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