hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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