this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
