My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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