im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
