i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
