so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
