I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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