Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
