ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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