Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
