We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
