She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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