also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
