you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
