EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
