i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
