i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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