No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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