I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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