What tipped you off? The sombrero?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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