dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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