I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
