I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
