But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
