she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
