I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
