Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
