Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
