barbara walters just said penis...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
