The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
where am i from again
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
