Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
