I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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